The following D.H. Lawrence has been hailed as “sourly misogynistic”:

To Women, As Far As I’m Concerned

The feelings I don’t have, I don’t have.
The feelings I don’t have, I wont say I have.
The feelings you say you have, you don’t have.
The feelings you would like us both to have, we neither of us have.

The feelings people ought to have, they never have.
If people say they’ve got feelings, you may be pretty sure they haven’t
got them.

So if you want either of us to feel anything at all,
You’d better abandon all idea of feelings altogether.

Perhaps I’m failing miserably as a feminist (and as an English major), but I don’t feel any sense of misogyny radiating from the words Lawrence wrote. Was the piece titled To Men, As Far As I’m Concerned, it might be hailed as a fundamental work of feminist poetry. Was it titled To Men, As Far As I’m Concerned, it would succinctly sum words I’ve failed to find many times. I would thusly argue the poem speaks more to the human condition than anything else. Lawrence is keenly aware that we’re often in love with the idea of love. As I’ve discovered many times, wanting to fall in love doesn’t mean you are in love, nor will it make you fall in love. And I don’t think this is trap that ensnares women only; men fall victim, too.  Maybe Lawrence is right, if we are to feel anything at all, we better stop idealizing.

Sarah Palin is easily the most recognizable woman in North American politics. While Palin has little experience and few accomplishments under her belt, the former governor of Alaska has become iconic. Despite my love of – nay, obsession with – Tina Fey, I feel that the comedian is partially to blame for the over-exposure Palin has received. For weeks leading up to the 2008 election, I devoured every Palin-impersonation Tina Fey performed. Admit it; you did too. It was pure gold. And just a little bit frightening.  The  more ridiculous Fey’s impersonations became, the closer they seemed to Palin’s actual appearances. It was much like trying to figure out whether it was Oprah or Joel Osteen that coined recognizable inspirational statements.

Recently, Palin hit the headlines again. This time, she’s following in the footsteps of George W. Bush and creating her own words and pronunciations. Check out this clip:

That’s right. The Obama’s are yet to “refudiate” claims that the Tea Party movement is innately racist. Refudiate.

Had the woman any grace or poise, she would have moved on, unfazed, instead of trying to make “refudiate” a word. Instead, Palin tweeted the following:

“‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”

She actually dug herself deeper into the whole by using a phrase I’ve personally never heard before – “wee-wee’d up.” Such abuse of the English language is enough to convince me that Palin is a harbinger of the apocalypse. Unless Harry, Ron, and Hermione can find and destroy all of Dick Cheney’s horcruxes, this might just be the end of the world as we know it.

But I digress!

I think Palin sends several negative messages to young women:

1. It’s okay to be stupid. As long as you look pretty.
2. Playing down any shred of intelligence you may have is alright. People find stupid women charming!
3. Be more concerned with what you’re putting on top of your head than what you’re putting inside.
4. Never take ownership of your mistakes or accept constructive criticism.
5. Be quick to speak and slow to think.

She’s a terrible role model.  And our world is seriously lacking strong female role models for young girls.

It’s not funny anymore. I can’t honestly say I find a single thing about her amusing. I would really, really, REALLY like the Republican party to front one intelligent, educated, articulate female figurehead just to prove that it’s possible. Until then, we’re stuck with Palin and Coulter. That’s enough to keep my feet firmly planted in the Democrats’ camp.

Let’s all ignore her and hope that she goes away. That always worked in grade school…

The illustrious Adam Schellenberg made a good point in his response to my last post. He explained that he is a Masculinist. What is a Masculinist? Adam was kind enough to provide us with a definition:

The noun masculinist can mean several things, but this is what I mean by it: someone who champions the dignity, rights, responsibilities, and glories of men as equal in importance to those of women and who therefore refuses discrimination against men. (GQ, Fall 2007)

Clearly, I don’t read GQ nearly enough, as I had never heard of the Masculinist movement. (har har) Nonetheless, Adam brings to light a great point.  In our quest to shatter stereotypical gender roles, we have focused primarily on women.  There are few voices discussing gender stereotypes forced upon young men.

Several years ago, I saw the following documentary.  The production quality is low, so it might come across a bit cheesy, but I think it makes many good points.

Men are forced into a “tough guise.”  Masculinity is often judged in terms of cocky bravado and physical strength.  From a very early age, we condition male and female children differently.  If a little girl falls, everyone stops to make sure the delicate little flower wont shrivel up and die.  If a little boy takes a tumble, we often encourage him to shake it off and show “what a big boy” he is.  Society preaches that boys shouldn’t cry.

While I think our society has reigned in violent influences on young men, there is still a black list of things that “real men” should never do. There are sweeping generalizations – show no weakness, be the primary breadwinner, show dominance, etc.  And then there are subjective areas where men must walk a thin tightrope.  Men can be musicians – but only if they play something cool and manly, like guitar or drums. In my years of music education in the public school system, I only knew one male flautist; interestingly enough, he was a Korean immigrant that learned to play before relocating to the States.  In America, playing the flute is clearly promoted as a “girly” activity.  Boys can be athletic – as long as their sports are very aggressive; boys should not do ballet or cheerleading. Admit it (yes, even the ladies), your gut reaction to boys that dance or cheer is to question their sexuality.   And men can teach, as long as it’s a “manly” subject, like math, science, PE, auto shop…

We are naturally suspicious of men that show a gentle or sensitive side.  At my church – and I could be very mistaken (I work in the Children’s Ministry, so that likely isn’t the case) – we don’t have any male volunteers in the Early Childhood program.  Actually, I don’t think we have any male volunteers that work with Children under the age 8, unless they’re involved in our Boy’s Club. The vast majority of elementary school teachers are female. And when was the last time you met a male preschool teacher?   We are wary about leaving our children in the care of men, and assume that men working with small children are creepy or gay.

And don’t get me started on the expectancy that men have to be the primary breadwinner.  One Seattle church even practices church discipline for men who choose to be stay at home parents…

What does it mean to provide for your family?  I had a preacher-man father who disappeared for weeks at a time to do God’s work.  I love my dad and we have a great relationship now, but growing up, I needed a my dad to be around, to be emotionally available.  A man’s provision for his family can’t just be monetary.  And if it works best that a father is the primary care giver of children or shares those duties with the mother, why shouldn’t he?  I know a number of single dads that are doing a much better job of raising their kids than the mothers would have done.    In a world where women can make as much as their husbands – and in a lot of cases, more than their husbands – why should gender be a determining factor in who raises children?  Shouldn’t we be more concerned with who is best wired to fulfill the needs of the children?  A mother resentful about staying home with her children will not be as successful as a father that is excited and eager to raise his kids.

So yes, I am a masculinist, too.  I don’t want gender to get in the way of a man expressing himself or pursuing a world full of opportunities.  When we consider gender roles, we must remember that there are two sides; the roles forced upon men are equally oppressive as those forced upon women today.