Women intimidate me. There. I said it. They’re out of my comfort zone. It’s not that I don’t like other women, but growing up a lot of the other girls didn’t like me.  I defaulted to being “one of the guys” whenever possible, with exception of my best friend Kiana.  Kiana and I never had a “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” type of relationship. I think we had a more primitive, tribal friendship. There was this almost sacred level of “together” that we had, and we would have savagely killed for one another if necessary.  It wasn’t warm and fuzzy and cute. If you got up in my sister’s face, I would have been too busy making you bleed to sit and hand her tissues and cry with her.

Needless to say, through high school, mine was not the house hosting the stereotypical sleepover party with pink pajamas and toenail polish. Kiana and I once ate a large pizza between the two of us and chased it with 2 litres of soda (each), while watching Mall Rats and Invasion of the Body Snatchers back to back.   On the continuum between friend and enemy, most other girls landed in the gray zone, save a few exceptional outliers.  And so it has been ever since.  Stick me in a room with men and I’m golden.  Ask me to a Tupperware party and you wont get me to show up, no matter how many free colorful plastic boxes you promise.

It’s rare when I feel that same, tribal kinship with another woman. It’s happened a few times. And, as I’ve gotten older (and dare I say wiser?), I’ve mellowed out and made female friends.  Some of my frenemies have become friends And most recently, I had a great moment in which I realized one of those frenemies had some how landed in my extended network of tribal warriors.

Lord knows that if you knew the whole back-story, you’d be shocked that girls like us ever grew up enough to put the past behind us, but somehow – miraculously – we did. And this girl -this sister – and I have a 2-person “First Wives Club” sort of thing going for us.  Perhaps it was years of fighting the same wars against the same enemies – that can be enough to unite the most obstinate adversaries – but at some point we started playing for the same team. I find that the same savage protective streak has stretched just a little bit further to encompass her. Funny how that happens.  It is both humbling and empowering.